“Putting the needs of everyone else before your own may solve an immediate stress; however, in the long-term, it can lead to increased anxiety, frustration, overwhelming feelings, resentment, depression, burnout, and even illness. Whether you think of yourself as a caregiver or not, these are all signs of caregiver stress.”

Modern families come in many styles. Primary caregivers may be parents or spouses or adult children, and they might be other relatives (kinship providers), friends, or neighbors. “Care recipient” is a term for anyone who requires assistance for daily living. “Caregiver” refers to anyone who provides regular assistance to a child or adult with chronic or disabling conditions.

Time apart can boost well-being for all: While caregivers temporarily shift their focus to self-care, care recipients have time to meet new people and explore new interests.

Finding an appropriate respite service and organizing payment can feel challenging. This article offers guidance to simplify the steps.

Check standards and safety measures

When researching a respite agency, caregivers can check whether the agency meets standards and follows appropriate safety measures.

Lifespan Respite Washington provides a checklist with questions to think about. Here are a few examples:

• How are the workers chosen and trained?
• Can the respite worker give medicine or help with medical tasks?
• If the provider will be driving the care recipient, do they have a valid driver’s license? Is the company insured to have their workers do that?
• How are emergencies and problems handled?

Registered, publicly funded respite providers need to meet certain standards and qualifications, including background checks and training. The public agency that pays for the service is responsible to track and share information about those procedures and quality measures. If respite is paid for by private medical or long-term care insurance, providers must meet the insurance company’s standards. Caregivers can ask an insurance company representative to explain the standards and how the insurance company makes sure the standards are followed.

Another helpful resource: the ARCH National Respite Network and Resource Center provides a free, downloadable 17-page guidebook, ABCs of Respite: A Consumer Guide for Family Caregivers. ARCH stands for Access to Respite Care and Help.

Respite includes a broad range of services. Some organizations offer short-term, overnight stays in their facilities and some offer daytime services. Some respite services are delivered in the home, like:

• personal hygiene care
• meal preparation
• light housekeeping
• companionship, activities, or supervision

Community Living Connections (CLC) has an online tool to help caregivers figure out what type of help they may want or need.

Washington’s Pathways to Respite booklet includes “fill-in-the-blanks” tools to help define needs, like these examples:

“I would like to take a break, but I am concerned that___________” and “If I had some time to myself, I would _____________.”

Pathways to Respite was developed by Informing Families, a resource of the Washington State Developmental Disabilities Council, in partnership with the Washington State Developmental Disabilities Administration, Aging & Long-Term Support Administration, and PAVE, which administers Lifespan Respite WA.

If a family will pay directly for respite services, they can find respite providers online. Here are some ideas to start a search:

• “Adult Day Services Washington State”
• “After-school programs children with special health care needs Washington State”
• “In-home care agencies near me”

Another way to find a respite provider is to connect to a website managed by SEIU 775:  The Service Employees International Union is for independent service providers who have a collective bargaining agreement with Washington state’s Department of Social and Health Services (DSHS). This is one way to find an independent respite worker (usually for in-home care) that meets WA State qualifications for the work.

Care.com is a private, online service connecting respite or personal care workers with potential care recipients and their families. Families are on their own to follow up on an individual worker’s qualifications, references, and background, although some listings will show someone has passed a background check.

If a care recipient is eligible for respite through private medical insurance, the insurance company will list approved providers or caregivers may call their insurance company representative.

Publicly funded respite programs also have lists of registered providers. Family caregivers who have respite funding through Medicaid or the Developmental Disabilities Community Services (DDCS) can use CarinaCare.com, an online tool to connect individuals with providers. A Who’s Who page describes the provider’s qualifications.

Lifespan Respite WA provides information about how to apply for a voucher. Vouchers are “mini-grants” for unpaid caregivers supporting a family member, friend or neighbor who has a special need or condition. The vouchers, up to $1,000 per qualifying household, can be used with any of the registered Lifespan Respite Providers listed on their website.

To qualify, the caregiver or care recipient can not be enrolled in a Medicaid respite or personal care program through DDCS (formerly DDA). (Exceptions are made for people on a waiting list and not scheduled to get respite services within 30 days of applying for a Lifespan voucher.) Additionally, a caregiver must:

• Not be paid to care for the care recipient
• Give 40 or more hours a week of care
• Not get respite from any other program
• Live in Washington State
• Can’t afford to pay privately for respite care

In Washington State, eligibility for free or low-cost respite services may depend on a person’s circumstances or the category of disability.

• Seniors and Adults with Disabilities
  • Seniors 65 and older who meet functional and financial eligibility can get a variety of services through Department of Social and Health Services Home and Community Services Administration (HCSA).
  • Unpaid caregivers of adults 55 and older who meet functional and financial eligibility can get respite care and other needed support services like caregiver education, support groups, housework and errands and other services.
  • The easiest way to learn about services and eligibility is to contact the county or regional Area Agency on Aging, which administers many of HCSA’s services. They are also listed at Washington’s Community Living Connections/waclc.org.

• People with Developmental Disabilities (All Ages) and Children with Disabilities
  • Children and adults with developmental disabilities who meet eligibility criteria for Developmental Disabilities Community Services (DDCS) might get respite, personal care, assistive technology, community engagement support, and other services provided through Home and Community-Based Services and Community First Choice (CFC).
  • Children with disabilities who are not DDA eligible may still get CFC through DDA.

• Learn about enrollment for DDCS services and the application process.
• Review the Washington Waiver Factsheet, which describes Medicaid waiver programs and who may qualify.
• Locations are listed on the website of Washington’s Community Living Connections/waclc.org.

Respite care is available for foster parents licensed by the Division of Licensed Resources (DLR), a Tribal agency, or a Child Placing Agency (CPA). Unlicensed relative caregivers or those determined to be “suitable person placements” also can get respite, as can caregivers assigned by the Department of Children, Youth, and Families (DCYF) or a Washington Tribe. 

Child Specific Respite (CSR) is linked directly to the medical, behavioral, or special needs of an individual child. CSR authorizes respite relief to families providing care to a child placed by DCYF on a case-by-case basis, consistent with the written service plan for the child.

Veteran’s families may qualify for respite through the Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers (PCAFC), operated by the United States Department of Veterans Affairs. PCAFC offers up to 30 hours of respite: Program options, eligibility and the application process are described in a downloadable booklet published Oct. 1, 2020.

Active-duty military and Activated Reserve or National Guard family caregivers may be eligible for respite care through TRICARE, the military healthcare system. Here are resources for military family caregivers:

• Respite care for primary caregivers of service members injured in the line of duty can be found on the TRICARE website.
• Extended Care Health Option (ECHO) can be a respite resource for caregivers of non-military family members.
• Some installations have respite funding available when the care recipient is enrolled in the Exceptional Family Member Program.
• Coast Guard family caregivers have the Special Needs Program which may offer respite or funding for respite:
• Coast Guard Mutual Assistance has Respite Care Grants available for eligible Coast Guard clients who have responsibility 24 hours per day to care for an ill or disabled family member who lives in the same household.

Whether your family is newly stationed in Washington or returning after time away, we welcome you! Moving to a new state is a big change, and it can be confusing when programs and services are called different names than they were in your last location. We’re here to help you learn how Washington’s education and medical systems work, so you can find the right support for your child. 

This video shares key facts to help you get started in Washington with a child who has exceptional needs. 

The State Education Agency (SEA) is the Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction (OSPI). Local Education Agencies (LEAs) are organized as 295 Districts that operate independently and include a school board governance structure. School boards are responsible to follow the Open Public Meetings Act. There are nine Educational Service Districts (ESDs) that partner with OSPI to provide services for school districts and communities and to help OSPI implement legislatively-supported education initiatives. 

Charter schools, as public schools, have the same responsibilities as all public and non-public entities when serving students with disabilities. This includes developing and implementing Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) or Section 504 Plans for eligible students.  

Washington has adopted the Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children (commonly known as “MIC3”), which addresses certain school transition issues for military children consistently, from State to State. Each Member State has a MIC3 State Commissioner to oversee compliance and coordinate with other commissioners as needed. Parents of military-connected children may contact their School Liaison or MIC3 State Commissioner directly for support with Compact-related issues. PAVE has prepared a MIC3 Step-by-Step Checklist to Resolve Issues with the Interstate Compact. 

Washington’s Purple Star Award Program recognizes school districts that go above and beyond to support military families. Districts with this award provide a webpage with resources, have a trained staff member to help, and make sure teachers understand school transition rules under the Interstate Compact. Families can look for the Purple Star designation when choosing schools—it’s a sign the district is committed to welcoming military-connected students. To see which districts have the award, visit OSPI’s Purple Star page. 

Washington’s compulsory attendance law requires that children begin attending school full-time at the age of 8 and continue attending regularly until the age of 18 (RCW 28A.225.010). A child must have turned 5 years old by August 31 to enroll in kindergarten, and 6 years old to enroll in first grade. Military-connected children who are covered by the provisions of MIC3 may continue kindergarten or first grade, despite the school’s age requirement, if they were already enrolled and attending at the sending school in their previous state. This PAVE article explains how MIC3 supports children in military families with enrollment-related issues. 

Washington has multiple Pathways to Graduation and requires a High School and Beyond Plan (a career and college exploration experience that students begin in seventh grade) for all students. Under MIC3, schools must place military children in courses and programs based on placement and assessments performed by the sending school. Schools and districts may waive course requirements for placement and/or graduation of military-connected children, if a child has met the sending school’s requirements for grade advancement, placement, or graduation. Learn more about how MIC3 protects academic progress toward graduation in this PAVE article. 

Families concerned about a child’s development can call the Family Health Hotline at 1-800-322-2588, with support in multiple languages, or complete a free developmental screening online at ParentHelp123. The Department of Children, Youth and Families (DCYF) administers the state early intervention services (EIS) program, called Early Services for Infants and Toddlers (ESIT). After evaluating a child for eligibility and developing a family-focused plan, ESIT provides services to help infants and toddlers with disabilities or delays to learn and catch up in their development. Planning for the child’s transition out of ESIT by their third birthday includes coordination with the local school district to evaluate the child for school-aged services and supports. PAVE’s toolkit for family caregivers of infants and toddlers, From Birth to Three, outlines the educational rights of children and families in early intervention services. 

The Early Childhood Education and Assistance Program (ECEAP) is Washington’s no-cost prekindergarten program, aimed at preparing 3- and 4-year-old children from families facing more significant challenges for success in school and life. Families with children aged 3 or 4 by August 31st may be eligible for ECEAP. Children are eligible for ECEAP and Head Start based on their age and family income. Up to 10 percent of ECEAP and Head Start children can be from families above the income limit if they have certain developmental factors or environmental factors such as homelessness, family violence, chemical dependency, foster care, or incarcerated parents. PAVE’s 3-5 Transition Toolkit includes more information and resources to support families of children with disabilities in this age range. 

Every student with a disability is protected from discrimination under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, including each student with a 504 Plan and each student with an Individualized Education Program (IEP). OSPI provides fact sheets about Section 504 in multiple languages that describe the evaluation process and state requirements. Parents may contact the Section 504/Civil Rights compliance officer assigned to their student’s school district. 

Washington Administrative Code (WAC), implements the provisions of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) in WAC Chapter 392-172A. Parents’ rights and responsibilities in special education, known as procedural safeguards, are described in a short handbook available for download in multiple languages on OSPI’s website. 

A child’s right to a timely evaluation and the school district’s responsibility to seek out and serve students with disabilities, referred to as Child Find, is described on OSPI’s website. A school district has 25 school days to respond to a referral/request for special education evaluation. Once a parent/caregiver signs consent to evaluate, the district has 35 school days to complete the evaluation. A parent can request an evaluation any time there are concerns about whether services match the student’s present levels of performance and support needs. PTI provides a sample letter for requesting evaluation. 

Areas of evaluation are associated with 14 eligibility categories. Developmental Delay is a category for children ages 0-9 years old. The category of Emotional/Behavior Disability is unique to Washington – it is known as Emotional Disturbance under IDEA. Washington law requires that schools screen children in kindergarten through second grade for signs of dyslexia and to provide reading support for those who need it. 

School districts must write and implement an IEP within 30 calendar days after eligibility is determined. Decisions about the provision of special education services are made by an IEP team, which includes parents and specific required staff members (WAC 392-172A-03095). 

For a student with an IEP, there must be a transition plan in place by the beginning of the year in which they turn 16 years of age, unless the IEP deems it appropriate to begin earlier. Students “age out” of special education when they graduate from high school with a diploma or at the end of the school year in which they turn 21 years of age. If the student’s birthday is after August 31 of the current school year, they may continue special education until the end of that school year.  

In 2019, the Washington State Legislature provided students with multiple pathways to graduation by passing House Bill (HB) 1599. PAVE provides an on-demand webinar on this topic: Life After High School: A Two-Part Training to Help Families and Young People Get Ready. 

OSPI offers both informal and formal dispute resolution processes. IEP facilitation is available at no cost through Sound Options Group as a voluntary and informal process where a neutral facilitator helps parents and schools resolve special education concerns collaboratively. Washington State Governor’s Office of the Education Ombuds (OEO) acts as a neutral guide to help parents and schools resolve disagreements about special education services, without providing legal advice or advocacy. OSPI provides three formal special education dispute resolution processes: mediation, special education community complaint, and due process hearing. 

In addition to educational resources, families often need healthcare support. Washington offers options that work alongside TRICARE benefits to meet your child’s needs. 

Washington’s Medicaid, which includes the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHiP), is called Apple Health. Applications are managed through the Health Care Authority (HCA), which oversees various Managed Care Organizations (MCOs) to provide health plan options. Open enrollment for Medicaid and Medicare starts on November 1^st, 2025 and ends on January 15^th, 2026. This is the annual opportunity to sign up, renew, or change coverage to best suit your family’s situation. Washington Health Plan Finder has step-by-step instructions for applying and navigators to help with the application process. Help is available for those who are having trouble navigating the health insurance landscape.  

Eligible dependents of military families can benefit from both TRICARE and Medicaid. When a military family member is dually enrolled in TRICARE and Medicaid, TRICARE is the primary payee and Medicaid covers remaining costs. When a service member leaves the military and TRICARE benefits change, Medicaid can provide services similar to those of TRICARE Extended Care Health Option (ECHO).  

TRICARE allows beneficiaries to make changes to their health coverage when a Qualifying Life Event (QLE) occurs, such as a move to a new city, region, or zip code. When a QLE happens, you generally have 90 days from the date of the move to update your enrollment. 

In addition to QLEs, TRICARE offers an annual open season for making changes to health coverage. Open season starts on the second Monday in November and ends on the second Monday in December each year. Any changes made during this period take effect January 1 of the following year. During open season, families can: 

• Stay in their current plan – no action required. 

• Enroll in a new plan. 

• Switch between plans. 

• Change enrollment type from individual to family coverage, or vice versa. 

PAVE provides more information about TRICARE’s basic plans, ECHO, and the Autism Care Demonstration in the TRICARE’s Big Three on-demand module. For this and more personalized learning at your own pace, check out our PAVE Learning Library.  

PAVE offers downloadable toolkits filled with fact sheets, worksheets, sample letters, and practical tips to guide you through every stage of your child’s education and care. These resources are designed to make complex systems easier to understand and navigate. 

Celebrate your military child all year long with social stories, activities, and tools that help families stay connected and ease transitions. The PAVE article, Purple Up! Celebrating the Month of the Military Child, includes free downloads in the top five languages spoken in military households. 

Want to know what makes a military family “exceptional”? Explore PAVE’s two-part series on the Exceptional Family Member Program (EFMP) to learn how enrollment works and what supports are available to help your family thrive. 

STOMP (Specialized Training of Military Parents) workshops and webinars offer military families the opportunity to access valuable information and resources while fostering connections and knowledge-sharing to create a collaborative environment that strengthens partnerships between families and professionals. STOMP events are free to military-connected families from all branches of services, including all service statuses and all installations worldwide. 

Need personalized help? Military families can access one-on-one support, training, information, and resources through PAVE’s Get Support request form — wherever the military takes you! 

Every person’s story has the power to make a difference. When you speak up, you help others understand what life is like for you and why change is needed. Disability rights have improved because people shared their experiences and asked for better laws and support. Your story can help others see what’s working, what’s not, and what needs to change in your community.  

People choose to share their stories for many different reasons. Some reasons include: 

• Personal growth: Your story can help you understand your own experiences, values, and goals. 

• Community learning: By sharing your story with others, you can help them understand the challenges and impact of systems and services.  

• Creating change: You can be in a classroom, local meeting, statewide agency, or with state or national leaders; your story can help others see what’s working and what needs improvement. 

Whether its in the classroom, community meeting, or with state leaders, sharing your story can motivate others to speak up and influence positive changes.  

PAVE offers Speak Up and Be Heard! coaching sessions for self-advocates in Pierce County. These sessions include both individual and group feedback to help make your story clear, strong, and ready to share. To sign up, check the PAVE calendar  and type: be heard in the search bar. 

Before you begin, take a moment to think about what you want to say. Your story can help others understand what needs to change. 

1. What is the problem or challenge? 
   Think about a challenge you experienced. It could be something that affects you, or someone in your family. Try writing one sentence about how this problem affects people in general, and one sentence about how it affects you personally. 

2. Who else is affected? 
   Does this problem affect other people in your school, community, or state? Think about how others might feel or struggle with the same issue. 

3. What happens if nothing changes? 
   Imagine what life will be like if this problem continues. Will things get harder for you or others? 

4. What needs to change? 
   Think about what could make the situation better. What would help you and others? 

5. What can be done? 
   Are there actions or ideas that could improve things? What do you think would help solve the problem? 

6. Who can help? 
   Think about who has the power to make change like lawmakers, school leaders, or community groups. These are the people you want to share your story with. 

This video introduces a strategy for telling a potent story in two or fewer minutes, using your own hand to guide the process.  

Think of this as a hand model for an inspirational elevator speech to improve or inspire: 

• Speaking up for yourself 

• Public comment 

• A meeting with state leaders 

• Legislative forums or candidate meetings 

• Community education 

For support to create your story, fill out a PAVE Support Request, and a trained staff member will contact you. 

1. Start with who you are. Be sure to say your name and the district, city, or town you live in. 

2. Be careful with private information. If you want to include information about other people be sure you have permission before sharing anything confidential, such as names, ages, or health information. 

3. Say what the problem is. Clearly and simply describe the problem or challenge. 

4. Explain why this is important. Tell why this issue is important to you and others. 

5. Share a short story. Write 4–5 sentences about how this issue has affected you or your family. If you can, share a positive example of something that went well and why you want others to have the same chance. 

6. Make a clear request. 
   Say what you want to happen in one short sentence (30 words or less). Provide a clear action: 

• “I ask you to vote for…” 

• “I want you to change this policy in order to…” 

• “I want you to fund a program that…” 

• “I’m asking our school principal to consider…” 

• “I want the community board to support…”  

7. Focus on solutions. 
   Make sure your message is respectful. Don’t blame or criticize. Instead, talk about how fixing the problem can help others in your community. 

8. End with thanks. 
   Repeat your request and say thank you. If you know something good the lawmaker has done before, mention it. For example, thank them for voting for a bill or supporting a program.  

We have provided a worksheet for easy practice. Steps to How To Tell Your Story Worksheet

Once you’ve written your story, it’s time to make it shine! Read it out loud until it feels natural. Practice with a friend or family member. Try to keep it short – just 1 to 2 minutes is perfect. That’s called an “elevator speech,” because it’s short enough to share in a quick conversation. 

Ask someone you trust to read your story and give feedback.  

Keep sharing your story! Talk to friends and family about why it matters. Share your story on social media, like Tik Tok, Instagram, Facebook, and other sites. Use hashtags, like #AccessibilityForAll and #InclusionMatters, so more people see it. Follow and share posts from groups that care about the same things you do. Stay involved and keep learning about the issue. 

You might be asked questions like, “Why is this important?” or “How does this affect others?” Practice your answers ahead of time. If you don’t know something, it’s okay to say, “I’m not sure, but I’ll find out.” You can look up the answer later and share what you find. This shows you care and want to keep the conversation going. Always offer to send more information, so they know you’re open to talking with them again. 

You can call the lawmaker, community leader, or other person involved in decision-making. You may also ask for a video meeting. Before you talk, write down the main things you want to say. Practice with a friend or family member so you feel confident. You can also write a short letter or email. Share your story and ask for their help. Add a photo if you want – it helps show why this matters. You can send the same message to more than one person. 

You can also attend rallies and community events that support disability rights or other causes you care about. These events are a great way to meet others, show support, and raise awareness. Sometimes, lawmakers and leaders attend these events too, so it’s a chance to be seen and heard. 

Legislative forums are public meetings where lawmakers listen to people in their community. You can go to learn, listen, or share your story. These forums happen during the lawmaking season and sometimes all year long. You can also attend other public meetings where lawmakers hear from the public. Bring your story and a question to ask. Be polite and thank them for their time. 

The Arc of Washington State provides pathways for people to participate in legislative advocacy. The Arc serves people with intellectual and developmental disabilities of all ages and their families.  

The How To Tell Your Story worksheet is part of the  STEP into Your Voice: A Guide for Young Leaders. Be sure to check it out and get some more tips to help you to be the best advocate.

Click on Get Support at the top of this page to submit a Support Request and receive individually tailored support, training, information, and resources.